I received a 55 in listening skills. I have decent listening skills but my downfall is my habit of interrupting people when they are speaking. It mostly comes down to impulse control more so than listening, as this is a symptom of Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder. It is something that I have improved on but I am still lacking in. I intend to keep trying to learn self-control and resist the urge to finish peoples sentences.

I assess someone’s listening skills by watching their eyes and body language. This can determine if someone is listening to me. I am a person that holds eye contact with others and tries to make sure I give my full attention when in conversation. This also helps manage distractions when in a distracting setting.  I do not think I have given formal feedback before within a professional setting but I have paraphrased to make sure I understand what someone is trying to say.

            I assess someone’s critiquing ability by how the criticism is being said. The book states that criticism is rarely effective. Which I can agree upon, there is constructive criticism but it needs to be used within a positive manner.

I assess someone’s ability to coach by the ability of the team they are leading. In my personal experience of being on sports teams, I can tell who was a good coach and who was not. In 6^th grade, I was on the track team. The coach was a woman who prioritized the people she already knew were great runners. While in 7^th grade, the new coaches lead the team to regionals by training and demonstrating, we were able to bring home the win. This can be applied within a professional setting because by the attitude, the environment and the ability to push the team, can make for better performance.

I access someone’s conflict management skills by seeing the aftermath of the conflict, because sometimes conflict can cause rifts within the organization. I have had horrible experiences with people’s conflict management skills. While on Longwoods Rugby team, I was in conflict with the captain. I went to other people on the team that held offices and discussed trying to find a resolution but nothing ever changed, the passive aggression towards me was unbearable. This has shown me that conflict management is very important if a team is to be effectively run, for recreational and professional purposes.

I try to be mindful of my listening, feedback, critiquing, coaching and conflict management skills. I was raised in an environment where everything was critiqued and it created conflict. It also taught me really poor behaviors when it comes to criticism. I tend to critique more often than I give feedback, I tend to tell people they are doing something wrong as “my way is better.” I am learning to open myself up to letting others do things, but I think this an issue that is associated with my upbringing. There is no excuse but I am trying to learn. Although I can critique others, I am a good coach. I love to teach people how to do things (especially my way of doing things). An example of this was when I was on the rugby team, some of the girls felt like their needs were not being met. I was a great player and would practice with them, telling them what they could improve on and how what they are doing can hinder their performance. This is on the border line of mentoring. My conflict management skills are not good and I really need to learn to handle conflict. This is also due to my past trauma and abuse; conflict scares me and I am scared of being yelled at. Yet, I am quick to defense when conflict arises and will go into fight or flight.

            It depends on the approach that the person and who is person is that is giving me feedback, critiques, and coaching. I tend to respond better to positive reinforcement than I would to negative reinforcement as that is very dramatic for me. I have had horrible managers in the past that yelled or were passive aggressive instead of discussing what I could improve, screamed at me for my mistakes.

The awareness of this will impact my career as a social worker as I know what I need to improve on and work with in my own abilities. My main issue is trying to handle and come to terms with my own trauma. As this also correlates to how I handle giving and receiving these skills.