Here is a link to an article about the young boy who decided to dress as Daphne for Halloween one year. The blog the mother wrote about it is also very interesting – both the blog and the comments responding to her give insight into how closely many people believe gendered norms should be followed, as well as the assumptions people make about sexuality and decisions to act outside of gendered norms.
Gender Watch
“When you know better you do better.” ― Maya Angelou
I think it’s unfortunate that the mother of the child as well as the child himself had to deal with so much negativity in him expressing himself. I think this really shows how social learning theory plays a large part in our interpretations of gender. If people had not reacted so critically to her son’s decision than the mother would probably have felt much more comfortable in her son expressing himself. In a way, she may be having to deal with social learning theory in adulthood because she has to resist the negative reinforcements the parents are placing on her to have her son act “appropriately” for his sex. It’s amazing how much adults can cause such a stir in situations like this when the child could care less and is confident enough to pose for a picture in his feminine costume and wear it all night. I wonder how many grown adult men would be able to do that.
This article was truly inspiring. I am both very impressed and proud of this little boys mother. She is so correct in saying “My job as his mother is not to stifle that man that he will be, but to help him along his way. Mine is not to dictate what is ‘normal’ and what is not, but to help him become a good person. I hope I am doing that.”. I wish more people felt this way instead of always conforming to societal “norms”. This article reminded me of the idea that it is not socially acceptable for men “to be female”. In our book, “don’t be female’ seems to be the most fundamental requirement for manhood, and boys have to learn not to be feminine. I love that this mother is challenging this social norm. I hope more parents follow her lead and let their kids dress how they want!
I found this post very interesting. The fact that so many people have opinions of what i child dressed up as on halloween amazes me. The fun of Halloween is dressing up as something your not. The boy isn’t hurting anyone, nor is his mother hurting him.