I look back to high school, and I see a completely different person. I was a girl who felt timid and trapped in her hometown, who waited for a chance to break free from a toxic cycle.

Now, when I look into the mirror, I see a young woman who has been learning to make it on her own. She has made it through two years of college, has made new friends, has made progress through therapy, has entered the work force, has changed majors, and has an entirely different path ahead.

I have made a lot of improvements this year. I have learned and realized that to put my best effort into anything, I have to take care of myself and thrive in an environment where I can grow.

Sometimes I have to face conflict, set boundaries, and make hard decisions. It isn’t always easy, but I have more tools readily available to conquer those challenges.

I used to be so anxious all of the time. I didn’t want to talk to other people, I felt sick when it came to confronting others, and I would suffer quietly instead of speaking what was best for me.

Sometimes I still feel queasy, but I like to talk to people now. I have learned that we all have a lot more in common than we might have originally thought. I can pace my breathing and ground myself when it comes to feeling anxious or uncertain. I know to do what makes me feel good instead of complying to others because I deserve happiness, too.

I know I am a good person. I know I try my best. I am becoming more confident of myself. I am only responsible for myself. I control my actions, but I don’t control others. I can help others, but I can’t save them. They need to help themselves, too.

Even though I still have work to do, I have come so far. I am so proud of where I am today and how much I have grown. I do not feel it on all days, I still need help sometimes, but that’s okay. It’s okay to not be okay.

I just remember to take time for myself and progress is progress, no matter how small. (Spring 2021)