Parental Control

As parents, your number one priority should be the safety of your children, whether it be at school, on the playground or even at the store. Making sure your child is in a safe environment is very important. Especially in today’s day in age, with all this technology the safety of your child they should be monitored a bit more. Children have access to so much technology, starting at a very young age. If you think that your children are safe using their electronic devices like their laptops, iPads/iPhones, and even gaming systems, in the comfort of your own home, you might want to think again. Due to the easy access children have to these electronic devices, they are exposed to so much, including the world of social media where millions of people of all ages and all over the world are connecting with one another. Social media has become a big deal for children and teens today. According to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, over 60% of children ages 13 to 17 have at least one account on a social media sites (AACAP). As parents it is your job to makes sure your children are safely navigating online, and that not just anyone has access to view your child’s account. To be sure of this, social media sites, as well as electronic devices, should have some kind of parental control for children under the age of 18. Also, all parents should be educating their children about social media at an early age, and continually teach them until they have reached a point of understanding.

A majority of children have access to the internet, starting at early ages because there is either some kind of computer/ other devices in the house, or parents provide them with their own devices. As parents, you should always be aware of what your child has access to, what they are posting, and who has access to view what your child is posting online. Many parents hand over these devices to their children without realizing the consequences that exposure to social media could have on their child. Before parents give their children electronic devices, they need to educate their children about the risks and benefits of using social media. As much as there are benefits to using social media, the risks override them. Considering that there are tons of people online, including some who might want to harm others, for example; cyberbullies or online predators, we want our children to be cautious and aware of who and how they interact online.

When children first start to use their devices for social media, they do not realize the danger they can be put in just by posting a picture. Children have very innocent minds therefore not much thought goes into what they do. With that, children also tend to do things carelessly without realizing what they’re doing is wrong. Facebook is one of many social media sites that puts many young users at risk (“Children, Adolescents, and the Media”). Risk of too much personal information, for example, children might add their current residing city and full name on their account just because there is a specific section for that information to be filled in even though it is optional, children are not aware of that (“Teaching Kids to Be Smart About Social Media”). Just with that small amount of information, anyone can get in contact with your child and vice versa. To avoid giving out too much real information, it is recommended that children on social media sites give out fake information. Most children are taught to do this in order to protect their privacy, but only 26% of children actually listened to their parents/guardians and posted fake information online (Madden). This raises a concern for most parents, and has them wondering if after they are told what to avoid doing and who to avoid online, how do we know that they are actually following what they have been taught.

What has been taught to your children will always sit in the back of their mind, you can’t ever be too sure when they will actually act upon what they have been taught. Especially as children get older, they tend to push away from their parents and ask for more privacy. More privacy leads to more secrets. Which then makes it more difficult to know who your child is actually in contact with online. Especially when your child doesn’t even mention to you, that he/she has a social media account. According to a survey, 70% of children don’t even tell their parents about their online profiles (Sutter). Children avoid telling their parents about their social media accounts because they have the assumption that their parents are going to overreact and monitor everything they do online, which they should.

To ensure your child knows the proper way to navigate through social media, children should be taught about the kind of people in online communities and the different behaviors and risks of using social media starting in elementary school. The same way children are taught how to avoid talking to strangers in person they should be taught how to avoid talking to strangers online. The same goes for bullying, children are taught not to bully or make fun of others and they should learn that the same rules apply online as well.

As terrible as it might sound, there are many situations where young children are approached online by a stranger. Situations like this tend to occur in chat rooms or any social media that allows users to message one another (Elgersma). The dangers of communicating online are that you are never 100% sure who is actually behind the screen. To avoid situations like this it is best for the parent to monitor all of the connections the child has online, and make sure each individual is actually who they say they are. Although there has been a decline in unwanted sexual solicitation since 2000, it is still very important for children to be kept in check when communicating with others on social media (Mitchell). The way children communicate with each other online is also very important for a parent to monitor, because sometimes it may not be an online predator who is after the child, but it could even be another child who thinks it is funny to mess with one of their peers.

Children especially teens, get a kick out of messing around with their peers, both on and offline. Children tend to think it’s easier to mess with their peers online because either they won’t know who it actually is and/or they think they won’t have to face any consequences. Cyberbullying is something that has unfortunately led to some very serious situations, damaging the child emotionally (“Cyber Bullying Statistics”). Often times children try to cope with the fact that they are being cyberbullied alone. Parents have no idea nor access to their child’s online accounts, therefore are unaware of what their child is up to, and who is communicating with them. As a parent, it is your job to be involved in everything your child does.

Many parents claim they don’t have time to sit down and help their children with homework and even less time to play with their child. So instead most parents take the easy route and hand their child an iPad or any other device and hope they will be left alone. Instead of just handing your child some kind of electronic device, make them work for it. Before giving your child any kind of electronic device make sure they are educated on how to use it properly, which includes the right way to use social media. To assure your child is well educated on how to properly use their device, give them some sort of assessment and when you think they are ready to receive a device, reward them with one. Once you have given them the device remind them that you are the parent and you will have all access to all their accounts online. Set parental controls on the device itself and on the social media accounts they are using. Setting a password on the device that only the parent knows is the best way to go about this because then the child will need their parents’ permission to go online. Also, social networking sites should have age requirements before creating accounts. Anyone under the age of 18 should be required to enter a parents email, and have their parents go back and change the settings for their child to go online, for example; set accounts to private with no ability to change it until they are of age, block any inappropriate accounts that the child could possibly come across, and much more. Once they are done using the device, the parents should then have the ability to go back on and see what they have been up to if they become suspicious.

Children and some others might be opposed to the idea of having parental controls on electronic devices and social media accounts due to privacy reasons. According to Peggy Drexler, social media freedom allows children to learn important life lessons on their own, without experiencing their own mistakes how are they supposed to learn what’s wrong and what’s right. Drexler believes that it’s best to give children privacy, but also make sure they are aware of the potential risks online. By giving children more privacy it allows them to have more trust in you and with trust comes honesty (“Why Teens Need Privacy Online”). Although, I strongly believe that until children have matured and grown into responsible young adults there shouldn’t be anything to hide from parents until then. Also considering that most children under the age of 18 are still living with their parents, there should be a set of rules they should be following.

Bibliography

AACAP. “Social Networking and Children.” Adopted Children, www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/Children-and-Social-Networking-100.aspx.

“Children, Adolescents, and the Media.” Pediatrics, vol. 132, no. 5, 2013, pp. 958–961., doi:10.1542/peds.2013-2656.

“Cyber Bullying Statistics.” Bullying Statistics, 7 July 2015, www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/cyber-bullying-statistics.html.

Elgersma, Christine. “The Facts About Online Predators Every Parent Should Know.” Common Sense Media: Ratings, Reviews, and Advice, Common Sense Media, 25 July 2017, www.commonsensemedia.org/blog/the-facts-about-online-predators-every-parent-should-know.

Madden, Mary, et al. “Teens, Social Media, and Privacy.” Pew Research Center: Internet, Science & Tech, 21 May 2013, www.pewinternet.org/2013/05/21/teens-social-media-and-privacy/.

Mitchell, Kimberly J., and Lisa M. Jones. “Understanding the Decline in Unwanted Online Sexual Solicitations: Findings from Three Youth Internet Safety Surveys.” PsycEXTRA Dataset, 2012, doi:10.1037/e621642012-226.

Sutter, John D. “Survey: 70% of Teens Hide Online Behavior from Parents.” CNN, Cable News Network, 25 June 2012, www.cnn.com/2012/06/25/tech/web/mcafee-teen-online-survey/index.html.

“Teaching Kids to Be Smart About Social Media.” Edited by Elana Pearl Ben-Joseph, KidsHealth, The Nemours Foundation, Apr. 2018, kidshealth.org/en/parents/social-media-smarts.html.

“Why Teens Need Privacy Online.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/our-gender-ourselves/201312/why-teens-need-privacy-online.