Ch 5 Application – “The Law of Addition”
This chapter is about becoming and valuing servant leadership.
- What do the people closest to you value? Make a list of the most important people in your life — from home, work, church, hobbies, and so on. After making that list, write what each person values most. Then rate yourself on a scale of 1 (poorly) to 10 (excellently) on how well you relate to that person’s values. If you can’t articulate what someone values or you score lower than an 8 in relating to that persons, I recommend you spend more time with that person to improve.
Justin Looney: Trust(10), Loyalty(10), Emotional Support(9)
Aidan McEvoy: Loyalty(10), Brotherhood(10), Honesty(10)
Dad: Trust(10), Responsibility(8), Empathy(10)
Mom: Transparency(10), Internal Growth(9), Kindness(10)
- With the same list (from above), begin identifying ways you can add value to them. List some ways you plan to add value to each person on the above list.
Justin: Bring him along on the journey towards creating constant confidence in our sport. Offering my advice and guidance during occasional moments of impulsivity.
Aidan: Be a motivator. He needs someone to build him up and give him some momentum.
Dad: Taking care of my academics and handling the multitude of responsibilities I have in my life brings my father peace and comfort. I add value to him when I take care of myself.
Mom: Be transparent with my emotions and keep her informed. She tends to worry, it adds value to her when she can be confident that her son is happy and moving towards success. Having multiple phone calls a week talking about each other’s days and weeks gives us both a space to vent and blow off some steam.
Ch 5: Action
You do not need to answer the questions in this next paragraph: It is rhetorical
What do you have to give others? Can you teach skills? Can you give opportunities? Can you give insight and perspective gained through experience? Can you speak life-giving encouragement?
Directions:
List the name of the person you will add value to over the next few months (during this semester) and fill in the related phrase. Then set up a consistent time to meet with the person over the next few months. This can be as often and once a week or perhaps it is only 1 a month or 2 in the semester. Nevertheless, you need to be proactive and schedule your meetings. This is a long term assignment and will take some effort and planning on your part.
- I will add value to: _Aidan McEvoy______________
- Why I chose this person: I believe he has an incredibly high ceiling as a pitcher and could go far in this game if he gets out of his own way.
- What I have to offer to this person: Perspective, from someone who’s fighting the same type of destructive behavior, but has made some strides.
- Three ways I can add to this persons’ life: Build up confidence, motivate, help plan action.
- Describe when (how often) you plan to meet. For example: “We will meet once a week, for 3 months.” Once a month towards the end of the month, allowing us to recap that month of games.
- Describe your experience.
We talked for hours in both sessions. The second session went until 3am. The main topics of discussion were self confidence, where we get it from, how we hold onto it, and always dreaming big. Aidan was struggling with the command of his pitches stemming from a lack of belief in himself. I started by building him and expressing my honest opinions on his strengths, weaknesses, and what I think his potential could be if he continues to develop. But I made sure to mention that more often than not, there won’t be someone there to pat you on the back and you need to find that confidence for yourself. Baseball players need to have the best and worst memories. More so perhaps, the most selective memories. Failure needs to vanish immediately from our memories, but we must be able to relive our moments of dominance and success. This is easier said than done, but a vitally important skill to learn. We talked about taking ownership over our own process and development. Sitting around waiting to “be developed,” by a coach or program will never warrant you the same success that taking your growth into your own hands does. Ownership, and refusal to fail were two major takeaways. Aidan mentioned that he finds when I speak he listens (which is not always the case with him and others), and really values my perspective, as I am an example who made tremendous strides as a player from my Freshman year to my sophomore year. People recognize my development and my process, and it adds weight to my advice and opinions.
Chapter 6: Application – “The Law of Solid Ground”
Most high achievers spend time developing their professional skills. They seek to be highly competent. Fewer focus on their character. What are you currently doing to develop your character?
Let us focus on three main areas: integrity, authenticity, and discipline.
To develop integrity, make a commitment to yourself to be scrupulously honest. Don’t shave the truth, don’t tell half-truths, and don’t fudge numbers.
- Explain a situation where you faltered on integrity. Was there a consequence? Remember, consequences can be positive or negative. I provided another student with a test once, and got in a whole heap of trouble. I had already gotten an A on the test the honest way, but was approached by a friend who felt unprepared and asked if I would send them the answers. Caring little for the lack of integrity of the action, I figured I wasn’t really the cheater or the bad guy (so I thought), and I sent the test. Sure enough, it wasn’t hard to tell that cheating had occurred and I was faced with the responsibility of my actions. I learned that one is no less guilty being the cheater or the provider, that this was violating the ethics of academic integrity, and enabling an incredible act of dishonesty.
- Now, explain a situation where you did not falter? Was there a consequence? I have been subsequently approached by students asking for similar favors and I share my story and urge them to do their best and get the grade they deserve, because no bad grade could compare to the stress that comes with an academic integrity violation. I try to share with friends and teammates that cheating may seem like an easy way out, but is never worth the risk.
- What is your plan to improve in this area of character? I’ve simply matured and vowed never to make such a dishonest mistake as this again. It wasn’t hard to evaluate this slip up in judgement and see that it wasn’t a reflection of my character.
To develop authenticity be yourself with everyone. Don’t play politics, role play, or pretend to be anything you’re not.
- Explain a situation where you faltered on authenticity. Was there a consequence? Remember, consequences can be positive or negative. There have been times where I’ve definitely felt myself acting in more of a “role,” or what people expect of me, versus who I actually am. Especially in high school with people outside of my closest friends, I could feel myself putting up a facade at times to fit a certain mold.
- Now, explain a situation where you did not falter? Was there a consequence? For just as many situations where I can remember changing who I was, later in high school I can remember situations where I would remove myself if I felt I couldn’t be comfortable being who I am. My friend group was always a safe space to be 100% yourself.
- What is your plan to improve in this area of character? I feel you must know who you are before you can tell when you’re not being yourself. I’ve still undergoing a process of self discovery I believe, yet I do think I’ve reached a point in which I can be self aware enough to know when I’m being inauthentic.
To develop discipline do the right thing every day REGARDLESS of how you feel. Get to class, even if it is raining. Follow through with your commitments, even if it isn’t convenient, and do what you say you will do.
- Explain a situation where you faltered on discipline. Was there a consequence? Remember, consequences can be positive or negative. I believe I lacked discipline early in high school when it came to lifting weights and getting stronger. At that point I wasn’t mature enough to understand that building my strength would pay major dividends in the recruiting process. The consequence was just being one of the smaller guys my freshman and sophomore year of baseball.
- Now, explain a situation where you did not falter? Was there a consequence After I committed to Longwood and the reality set in that I was a college baseball player, I began to take my physical development more seriously. My junior and senior year of high school I never missed a day of lifting or hitting. I lacked however in the arm care category, and dealt with numerous shoulder injuries throughout the off season before my senior year, and during my freshman year of college. The greatest discipline I’ve ever displayed was this summer. I stuck to my routine so diligently and it granted me my most productive offensive season to date. I had to drive an hour every morning to get to the gym my team could train at (all others were closed due to covid), and to be able to get swings in in the morning after lifts before games. It daunted me initially thinking about playing everyday while lifting everyday, however I firmly believe the consistency of my routine contributed directly to the consistency of my play.
- What is your plan to improve in this area of character? Continuing my disciplined routine this summer. I have the advantage of being in a more competitive league this summer that grants us 24 hour access to a gym locally, and constant opportunities for early work offensively and defensively throughout the day before our 7:00pm games. The idea of the Coastal Plains league is to give us the “minor league experience,” where we can report to the field 3 or 4 hours before games, where we’re with the resources to prepare ourselves and develop our skills each day before our games. Continuing to execute my routine will improve this area of character.
Ch 6: Action – “The Law of Solid Ground”
1.Give yourself a grade on a scale of 1-10 (one being an area of weakness and 10 being an area of strength) on each of the following Character areas.
- Commitment 10
- Courage ,8
- Honesty ,9,
- Perseverance 10
- Preparedness 10
- Respect of others 10
- Responsibility ,9,
- Self-discipline 9
- Teachability 10
- Unselfishness 9
2. To better evaluate your character, talk to someone in your work environment, whom you trust to give you honest feedback, to also evaluate you. This may be difficult for some people so make sure you pick someone who is a leader and willing to give you honest and truthful feedback.
Name of the person who evaluated you: ___Jack Schnell___________________
- Commitment 10
- Courage 9,
- Honesty 10
- Perseverance ,9,
- Preparedness ,10
- Respect of others ,9
- Responsibility 8,
- Self-discipline 10
- Teachability ,10
- Unselfishness ,8.5
3. Looking at your evaluation, identify 3 areas of weakness and put together a personal growth plan for these areas. Include what practical steps you going to take to develop these areas.
Courage: At times I falter in this area due to how hard I am on myself. It takes courage to be able to push through self doubt. I believe journaling will be a major key to this. Being able to physically see my inner monologue when things are going badly, and compare it to when things are going well, I believe will reveal to me that the negative self talk is a demon that I need to ignore and overcome. Seeing adversity as a test from the universe will allow me to remove myself from the struggle of it, and see it as an obstacle to beat.
Responsibility: Responsibility comes from maturity. Responsibility is leading by example. At times I wear my emotions clearly on my face, which is irresponsible because of the people who look up to me on my team. I need to be a good example of how to deal with adversity to create a culture of gritty, strong players who run through obstacles instead of avoiding them.
Unselfishness: This ties into the idea of responsibility. Selfishness in baseball is letting your own personal failures lead to more failures that can harm the team. Frustration is a driver for me, but I can’t let it spiral into more adversity, as this is detrimental to the progress of my team.