Throughout this semester, I have read and researched a lot about the cultural differences and similarities that make us unique. Through this research I have come to the conclusion that as Americans, we are mostly unaware of our freedom and individuality until we are informed otherwise. This lack of awareness is a key issue facing effective intercultural communication between cultures with varying interdependence levels.

How does one overcome this lack of awareness? As stated above, people are only unaware until someone or something informs them otherwise. Once you are aware of your privilege, it cannot be ‘unknown’. To bridge the gap between American culture and cultures that are centered around collectivism, it is critical that we educate not only children, but all of American society of our individualistic nature and how it differs from that of others.

We need to understand our differences in nature to better communicate, but also why we should care in the first place. Our human biology naturally fears and guards against that of the unknown, different, or unpredictable (Carleton). Though, in reality, the differences we fear do not make the said person good, evil, or neutral. Still, we fear those who differ from our own person due to the fact that humans are unpredictable. This unwarranted fear inhibits the flow of effective communication and understanding and only narrows our individual perspective, leaving us culturally divided over our differences that do not affect reality until we label them as something to fear.

Individualism, as defined by Hofstede Insights, is “the degree of interdependence a society maintains among its members.” Why does this matter? In American society, for example, the individualistic culture has made it difficult for the United States government to slow the spread of coronavirus. A study conducted by Jingjing Li, Ting Xu, Natasha Zhang Foutz, and Bo Bian found that localities averaging higher in levels of individualism were facing compliance levels of 41%, under half of local populations (courtesy of UVA Today). 

“We were astounded by the large magnitude of those numbers, because they suggest that variations in individualism could account for almost half of a policy’s effectiveness,” said researcher Li. These variations in individualism may be holding America back from slowing the spread of COVID-19, however, that is not the case for most Asian countries. Malaysia, for example, dealt with the fast surge of outbreaks just like the rest of the world, but managed to lower their daily caseloads to between 10-20 cases since June, according to VOA News.

When asked why he felt Asian countries were handling the pandemic better, Alan Chong, associate professor at the S. Rajaratnam School of International Studies, stated that he felt cultural differences played a role. “People here are still collectivist in orientation of thought, meaning even if a certain government is despised, they will still listen to instructions especially if they are reasonable,” he said. “The idea of stay at home, people will obey because the collective good is explained to them in a self-evident way.”

During my studies this semester, I was asked to watch a TEDx Talk by Israeli-born storyteller, Noa Baum. She talked about the importance of storytelling and how through being in the same space and time together sharing stories, two people can form a bond or human connection. This bond affects the brains cognitive function in a way that allows two people to suspend their disbelief to view the world through another person’s eyes. This method of communication allows for both parties to share their feelings without their identities being threatened, which provides the perfect conditions for open, honest, effective communication.

Do I believe every problem could be solved through storytelling? No, I do not. However, I do believe that storytelling provides a safe platform for open communication that leads to better understanding of cultural differences. Storytelling not only builds familiarity and trust, but is also a great tool for all learners, meaning learning is not limited to one culture, but open to all, according to psychologist Vanessa Boris (HarvardBusiness.org).

I have learned a lot from my studies this semester. Most importantly, that my perspective is mine and mine alone, and extremely limited at that. I now know that there are many cultural differences that separate us from one another, but that they are not to be afraid of. I have learned about the many benefits of storytelling, and come to the conclusion that through storytelling, we are able to unite and understand one another in ways not possible before. I’ve become aware of my lack of awareness and continue to seek to expand my perspective, one story at a time.

According to Noa Baum, the core attribute that sets storytelling apart is the process of being together in the same space and time, sharing stories, creating a human connection. When this happens, there’s a shift in the brains cognitive function allowing the individual to suspend their disbelief and view the world through someone else’s perspective, without their identities feeling threatened through argumentation (TEDx Talks).  

I sat down with former international student, Dr. Viktoria Basham, to hear what it was like being raised and attending school in Bulgaria, and then what it was like to attend college outside the country. Not only did I listen to her stories, but I learned from them as well, and for the first time, caught a glimpse of how much courage and tenacity it takes to be an international student in America. 

Basham describes her time in Bulgaria before she departed for Washington and Lee University as normal, like any other kid. Her day started by waking up, eating breakfast, and putting on her makeup for school. After classes were finished, Basham and her friends would hangout and watch their favorite television shows. She would have the occasional argument and/or disagreement with her family, like every teenager, but nothing stood out as unordinary. 

She attended grades eighth through twelfth at the American College of Sofia in Bulgaria, the oldest American educational institution outside of the United States. One of the expectations, as Basham described it, was that at some point near the end of high school, one would make a decision about attending college, either in or out of Bulgaria. 

During our interview, Basham was talking about how “we” made the decision to attend college in the United States. This confused me, because from my American perspective, I decided what I wanted to do after high school. There was no “we” in my decision-making process. So, I asked, “was this decision made for you by your family?”

“I was really not one of those teenagers that mapped out [their] future from day one to the end,” Basham answered. “That’s why I needed a slight push from my mom and dad, so I would be thinking about what comes next.” She added that, when your young, you aren’t able to see things how adults view them, and if it were up to her, she would’ve probably been off drinking coffee with her friends.

When she first arrived in the United States at Washington and Lee University, Basham struggled to adjust to American culture. She stayed cooped up in her dorm room for the first two weeks of school fearing what people may think of her. “Once your far away, you realize you can’t hug your people, you can’t ask for help; you realize you’ve lost it all.” 

The first few weeks were very shocking; the food, the language, her family not being there, everything that defined her comfort zone had vanished.  On top of it all, whenever Basham opened her mouth to speak, people immediately knew she wasn’t from America.

Basham stated that once people realized she wasn’t from America, they would ask questions like, “where are you from?” This in and of itself wasn’t the problem for her. Rather, it was the intention behind the posed question that felt unwelcoming, and sometimes, imposed certain stereotypes.

She provided an example where someone assumed that she didn’t even speak English based on her nationality. They used exaggerated hand gestures and slowed speech, as if this would get their message across to someone who doesn’t speak English.

These types of intentions and actions have made her feel like she would never be accepted in American society. “You’re never going to be on the inside. You’re always going to be viewed as someone who came from the outside and is still kind of on the outside. Um, so that’s challenging.”

Basham said something that took me by surprise, that at least once a day, based on varying reasons, she can relate to Clifford the Big Red Dog. At first, I wasn’t sure what she meant. Then she explained, “You know, this ginormous red dog that’s kind and friendly, looking for a home, looking for family, but doesn’t really fit in. He’s never going to blend in,” she added. Some people will say he’s unique or special, while others will label him as weird or different.

That feeling of not blending in is something Basham feels will ever go away. She said that somedays she feels that her differences make her unique, special, awesome. But somedays she feels like people are judging and assuming that she’s “weird” because of her differences. 

“But I’ve also met wonderful people who are super excited about me coming from a different culture and they want to learn about my culture,” she commented. 

My final question to Basham was “do you feel like a member of U.S. society today?” Her answer was split. On one hand, when she returns to Bulgaria with an American husband, she feels like some people will feel that she betrayed her country by marrying an American. But she does feel like a member of U.S. society. “So at this point, I kinda feel like I have two homes, but at the same time, homeless.”

Looking back, Basahm stated that she wouldn’t change a single thing. Neither the good nor bad. “I wouldn’t want to change any of the good or bad stuff because it defines people. It helps understand who they are, what they can do, how they handle themselves, and how they handle other people in challenging situations.”

I’ve learned that my perspective is far narrower than I once believed. I’ve listened to what it’s like to be away from your family, in a new environment, and all alone; something I’ve never experienced. However, one of the most important lessons I learned from Basham’s stories is that our differences are nothing to be ashamed or afraid of. It’s okay to ask questions, but always remain mindful of your intent when doing so.  

By coming together in the same space at the same time and sharing stories with one another, we are able to connect and view a perspective different than our own. Sometimes that means we must reach beyond our comfort zones, but I’ve come to learn that reaching beyond one’s comfort zone only widens one’s perspective.  

As a teenager right out of grade school, Dr. Viktoria Basham was looking forward to an adventure. She set her sights on attending Washington and Lee University, a relatively small school nestled in the mountains of western Virginia. While the majority of American high school graduates would consider going to college an adventure, it wouldn’t quite equal up to Basham’s unique experience.

You see, Dr. Basham was born in Bulgaria and lived most of her teenage life there. She hadn’t stepped foot out of the country until it was time to come to the United States to study at Washington and Lee University. To put it simply, Dr. Basham was an international student heading straight into unknown territory; a thought that might frighten anyone inexperienced in international travel and lacking knowledge of American culture. 

Frightened or not, Dr. Basham packed one suitcase filled to the brim with clothing, school supplies, and other personal belongings, and started her journey to America, leaving all she was familiar with behind. It was not until I sat down with Viktoria and heard her story that I truly began to understand the gravity of her situation and what transpired after she arrived at Washington and Lee University.

After arriving, she said that she stayed closed up in her dorm room for the first two weeks of classes, stating she did not feel like she was able to connect with anyone. From our conversation, I gathered that the lack of connection was not from not sharing commonalities with others, but rather the cultural disconnect/differences between Bulgaria and the United States of America.

One difference is the way one uses formal communication to connect with elders and/or people in positions of power. Another noticeable difference would be that American’s, typically, are more individualistic, as in they are encouraged to pursue their own personality. Whereas Bulgarians, historically, have typically stuck together as a family unit, similar to collectivism, just on a smaller family scale (Hofstede Insights). The last difference I cover is power distance, the internal acceptance that people in power will stay in power, and the people at the bottom of society will remain at the bottom due to lack of representation and/or say in the decision-making process (Bjørge). Learning about and understanding the differences in cultures are two totally different concepts, that I now realize and value the importance of. By talking and sharing stories with one another, we are able to connect in a way that doesn’t threaten our opinions and allows us to see life from a different perspective (Baum, Beyond Labels). I hope to share this newfound understanding of cultural differences by studying and comparing real-life experiences/examples provided by Dr. Viktoria Basham and myself.

Formality, as stated above, is a communication style that shows large amounts of respect towards people in positions of power. I asked Dr. Basham for her opinion on how formality plays a role in communication in Bulgaria, and how it may differ from that of the United States of America. She said, “people from my generation are kinda moving away from that super formal mode of communication.” Dr. Basham also commented that when she has taught cultural communication in the past, she has shown that there are many ways one can show respect or disrespect nowadays.

“Whether you start an email with Dr. Basham or Vicki, I’m not gonna take that as a sign of disrespect, but again I come from a generation where we’ve moved away from a lot of that stuff,” she commented. I asked Vicki how her parents or grandparents would react to being addressed in a less formal manner.  She responded by saying that the way you address your elders directly correlates with the amount of respect one has for an elder and that “that’s a big thing, that’s a sign of respect.”

In the United States, I feel that the younger generations are also using formality in communication less and less. A study was conducted by Anne Kari Bjørge that attempted to determine if students from high power distance cultures were more likely to choose a formal greeting than those from low power distance cultures. Bjørge’s results found that Bulgaria, and seven other countries, ranked number one in the likely hood that a student would send a formal greeting to their professors. In contrast, the United States ranked thirteenth. This goes to show that formality is a much larger part of Bulgarian culture and communication than the United States. 

American’s pride themselves in their individualistic personalities. I asked Dr. Basham, in Bulgaria, do people take pride and show off their personalities or are they more reserved? She commented that Bulgaria “is much less individual-focused,” than America. Considering that Bulgarians are not as individualistic as Americans, I asked if she would consider the culture to side more with collectivism (the idea of moving as a unit, your self-worth is directly related to the family’s reputation and/or outward appearance). “We’re not looking at a utopian socialist idea,” she commented. “It’s more about, especially on the family level, the family stays as a family pretty much from day one until the end.” I was confused by this response, so I asked if she could clarify her answer. She then provided the example that sometimes, there will be multiple generations living under the same roof. Each member of the family helps and contributes to the rest of the family’s success. This example helped me better understand the family dynamics of Bulgarian culture by showing me a different family structure than my own. 

Hofstede Insights offers a country comparison tool that allows one to select different cultures and compare the similarities and differences. When comparing Bulgaria and America, the individualism rankings couldn’t be more drastic. At the higher end of the scale, America ranks at 91%, while Bulgaria ranks at 30%. In the United States, family dynamics differ depending on the family. However, American’s value individualism, which makes each of us different in some regard. While some homes are similar to Bulgaria, as in they have multiple generations living under one roof, not all are the same. It’s a common practice in America to leave the home at eighteen and start to develop an identity apart and away from one’s family. This is where the two cultures differ. By listening to Dr. Basham’s stories, I was able to better understand individualism and collectivism and the roles they play in the different cultures.

This last difference plays a huge role in the dynamics of a country and a people. Power distance, as described above, is the internal acceptance that people in power will stay in power, and the people at the bottom of society will remain at the bottom due to lack of representation and/or say in the decision-making process of a country or culture. Dr. Basham mentioned that, in Bulgaria, it is very common for people who have little money and power to stay poor and powerless. “That’s pretty much how it’s going to keep going, that power distance is not going to change,” she said. I asked her why she felt that way and she responded, “because all the younger people are leaving the country.” She said that it isn’t like when an American starts with nothing and makes their way to the top. “It’s not about how much effort you put into your work or job, or whatever,” she said. “It’s not about how hard you keep pushing, you’ll always be working in that giant distance between you and those in power,” she concluded. As Dr. Basham stated, in the United States, one has the chance to start with nothing and make their way to success. Though, it isn’t the same in Bulgaria, which I would have never known previously without hearing Vicki’s story.

Whether or not we are similar or different, we are all human. No matter how hard we fight it, or study it, or try and change it, we will always be related through that connection. We may not address one another with the same amount of respect, or formality. We may choose to project and/or represent ourselves differently depending on our geographical location. There may even be a massive difference in how we govern and/or view our political leaders. However, at the core of it all, we are all the same in the ways that truly matter. However, to be able to see this for yourself, one must be able to put their opinions and prejudices aside and listen to what others have to say. Noa Baum once participated in a Ted Talk where she talked about the importance of listening to other people’s stories. “When we open up to the story or experiences of another, things begin to shift,” Baum stated. We all possess the ability to feel compassion, empathy, and remorse. All it takes is time, a place, and someone’s stories to listen to. Open your ears and you may be surprised by what you hear.