Dear Homeslice,
You are so sassy. But that’s what I love about you. And scones. You make mean scones. Sweet fancy Moses, those bad boys are delicious.
Stop with the hiccups already. I currently have had the hiccups for over two hours. Seriously. We’re in college.
We are in the middle of COVID-19 right now. Woof, am I right? And I’m going to be 19 (like the COVID) in a few days. See what I did there? Boom!
So, now that you’re reading this, you must me 21, almost 22. How long ago did you make your first million? J.K. (Rowling). I really just hope that you’re happy. And healthy. And it’s crazy that Heidi will be 7 when you read this. I’m proud of you. Your lame-ass siblings couldn’t do this. Even if they could, I’m still proud of you. College is a whole thing. And you have to live with other people for part of it. And some people have shag carpeting, and there is no excuse for that madam.
So what’s next Buttercup? Make some scones, get a job, and kick some ass. Giddyap.
Sincerely,
Me (lol reference)