"Megan - Newborn - 02" by christopherallisonphotography.com
In the United States, there are currently over 1 million children in military families. This lifestyle can be very demanding; presenting your children and adolescents with many struggles. Specific demands include relocation, deployment, educational issues, and children adjusting to military life in a healthy manner. This article provides you and your family with facts and resources to help you during different aspects of your military lifestyle.
Military Children and Schooling
"Study of Study" by chefranden
Children are constantly faced with challenges in the academic aspect of their lives. Some of the challenges include maintaining good grades, peer pressure, and joining sports teams and school organizations. These stresses can be overwhelming for all kinds of students, including both non-military children and military children. For military families and children, they face the normal challenges of school life, as well as stresses associated with the military lifestyle.
Deployment-related stresses can affect children of military families and their school. Studies have shown that deployment and other typical military family stresses can negatively affect children’s tests scores. The issues common to a military lifestyle may lead to students doing poorly in their classes, or worse, having to repeat multiple classes. Not only does this affect the children academically, but it can also hurt the children’s overall self esteem.
A major part of children’s schooling is the social aspect, including making and maintaining friendships, as well as participating in after school activities. According to a study on military children, it is more difficult for military children to keep close friendships in school. It is also typical for children to feel detached from their peers, making it harder for them to make new friends and gain the full experience at school. Extra-curriculars are also an area of struggle. According to a study, it is very difficult for military children to become part of a sports team or club because athletic coaches and trainers are afraid of losing a team member in the middle of a sports season due to relocation. This can also negatively affect children’s outlook on school life.
There are many resources available for children and their families who are struggling with schooling and the military lifestyle. If your child is having trouble transitioning to a new school, school counselors are available to make the move easier, as well as explain anything that is unclear about the new school’s expectations. They also have connections with other school officials for additional help. Civilian social workers can also help your child with connecting to their new school environment. Your child and family can also get in touch with a Family Life Educator, who will be able to provide you and your family with resources to assist you during stressful times, such as relocation.
Moving Away
"Moving House" by Nathan O'Nions
Relocation is a very common trait of the military lifestyle. The stresses involved with relocation begin before the move as a result of the anticipation of the changes that will occur. Age can also play a substantial role when relocating, therefore the situation must be treated differently depending on the age of your child or adolescent. One perspective on relocation is that adolescents are more capable of handling relocation because they understand that it is something in society that is normal and they see other military families doing similar things. The opposite view is that adolescents have a tougher time during the relocation period because of their need for friendships. Some negative effects from this loss of connection can be depression and the feeling of alienation. Whether your adolescent(s) is in a positive or negative environment can influence how well he or she performs in school. School allows them to be around his or her peers and with other kids the same age. These children can share their situations with one another since they are going through similar stresses in their life.
There are many resources available for your family and children, and one of them is you, their parents. However, the military parent is burdened with the responsibilities from work and still providing for their children at the same time. When military families are experiencing separation, family members can lose sight of their roles. The worst way to deal with the complications of relocation is to ignore your children.
Effects of Deployment on Children
"Items We Carry" by Jronaldlee
According to a study on military children, adolescents tend to develop the stressors of anxiety and depression when there parents are deployed. Anxiety in your child’s life could be brought about by worrying about their parents who are away at war. They may listen to the nightly news, or try to help out their parent at home as much as they can, so there will not be as much tension or stress in the household.
Adolescents’ depression can be brought about by many things. Depression can arise from losing a parent to the war or feeling abandon when their parent is deployed, moving to a new place, and even having their parent be deployed once more.
Anxiety and depression can play a huge role in adolescents’ lives, especially when they are a part of a military family. With help and good communication, your children can learn to deal with their illnesses in a healthier way.
Here is a YouTube video that helps describe the experiences military children face. Seeing that other military families are struggling with similar issues my help your children in difficult situations or moments of high stress.
Staying in Touch with Your Children when You’re Deployed
"Navy Bear" by Selbe B
Parents of military children should be aware of the effects deployment has on children. Deployment can result in misbehavior, depression, and anxiety in military children. The reasons behind this behavior are often misunderstood. To alleviate these undesirable outcomes, parents should promote healthy communication between the deployed parent and the child. Communication between the child and parent at home is very important as well.
As a military member and parent, there are things that you can do to ensure your child remains familiar with you as you deploy. For example, you can create a video of you reading a bedtime story for your child. This way, you will remain close to them everyday in some form. Parents can also create items for the child like a teddy bear or a photo album. Research has shown that communication using programs like Skype or Oovoo is a very useful way to stay in contact with your child.
Parents who remain at home when the other parent is deployed play a very significant role in the child’s adjustment. An article explains that as a parent, you need to make sure that you talk to your children about their emotions and roles during the other parent’s deployment. Knowing that they have a significant support system will give the children and adolescence the resources that they need to emerge from the situation successfully.
Fortunately, there are programs that were created to help military children cope with the stresses that occur in everyday life. For example, Programs such as “Passport toward Success” were created to focus on skills that foster resiliency in children to teach them how to cope with deployment stress. Skills involving communication, emotional expression, and problem-solving are improved by participating in this program. Participation in programs such as “Passport toward Success” leads to a decrease in depression rates and misbehavior during parental deployment.
During deployment, every family member plays a signficant role in their resiliency. Each parent must remember to tend to their children’s emotional needs during this time. It has been said that military children are the smallest soldiers.
The Children’s Corner
"Crayon Drawing" by Ana Fukase
Staying close with your parent during deployment is very important for both you and your parents. You can communicate with your parents by drawing, writing letters, talking on the phone, emailing, and by using video media. Because your parent is or may become deployed at some point in the near future, it is important that you do your best to help out around the house and to take on some of the roles that the deployed parent assumed. Just like you rely on your parents for support, they rely on you also.
One of the main reasons for staying in touch with your mom or dad while they are away is because they miss you! They love receiving hearing from you while they are away. Your parents also will like to hear about what is going on in your life. Telling them about daily events will make your parent’s transition back home go more smoothly. Such frequent and quality communication may also make it feel like the parent was there. Click here for a way to stay in touch.
As stated previously, there are many ways to stay in touch with a loved one. The newest form of communication when a parent is deployed is by video. There are websites like “Skype” and “Oovoo” that may be used while your parent is thousands of miles away! To video chat with your deployed parent, you may want to ask your parent if this is available first. Then, you can ask them to install one of these programs on your computer, while asking your deployed parent to do the same. You can also use the computer to send your parent an email. To do this, you need to find out your deployed parent’s email address. You should then ask an adult to help you log on to an email account. As you type the email, you can talk to your parent like you would over the phone.
Letters are a good way of keeping in touch with your parent as well. When you write the letter, be sure to write more than just a couple of sentences. The longer the better! Your parent will want to hear all about school and what’s going on at home. You will need a stamp and your parent’s mailing address in order for them to receive it.
"Crayon Drawing" by Ana Fukase
Staying close with your parent during deployment is very important for both you and your parents. You can communicate with your parents by drawing, writing letters, talking on the phone, emailing, and by using video media. Because your parent is or may become deployed at some point in the near future, it is important that you do your best to help out around the house and to take on some of the roles that the deployed parent assumed. Just like you rely on your parents for support, they rely on you also.
One of the main reasons for staying in touch with your mom or dad while they are away is because they miss you! They love receiving hearing from you while they are away. Your parents also will like to hear about what is going on in your life. Telling them about daily events will make your parent’s transition back home go more smoothly. Such frequent and quality communication may also make it feel like the parent was there. Click here for a way to stay in touch.
Finally, your parent will also want to see what you have been up to while they are away. You can send them your school work and the special drawings and paintings you may decide to create for them. This is something that you would do for them at home, so why not do it while they are away?