You Can’t Say That To A Girl

January 20th, 2015

My name is Michael Durr and I am junior at Longwood University. I am a Communication Studies major with a concentration in Public Relations and a minor in Business Administration. I am from Brandon, Mississippi and I came to Longwood to play for the men’s soccer team in which I am currently the captain of.  As for my professional goals,  I would like to be a sales representative for a company. This coming summer I landed an internship for a medical supply company. One important aspect of being a salesman is, of course, making great sales.

Men's soccer headshot

Men’s soccer headshot

With that being said, and with the classes I’ve taken here at Longwood such as Persuasion Theory and Public Speaking, I have harnessed specific skills in order to perform my dream job of making a sale. When I was being interviewed for this position, I was told that in this professional field you are required to make tough decisions and you must be able to handle yourself well under pressure. Being a captain of a Division 1 program has definitely prepared  me to do such. When you have 20+ individuals asking for direction, it undoubtedly adds pressure to one’s self. Not only do I have to be able to communicate with over 20 players, but of these individuals, roughly 40% speak English as their second language.  With this responsibility I have to make sure all the messages, on and off the field, are both precise and clear.

Being that soccer is one thing I have always been involved in, I have had many experiences where gender issues have come into play. Growing up, when I wasn’t playing in the game, I was either coaching or refereeing. When coaching you have to be very careful when it comes to differentiating between coaching boys or girls. When coaching boys you can get very animated and call them “a bunch of sissies!” But when you are coaching girls you have to be more careful because it doesn’t motivate them the same as boys. When speaking to girls you say something along the lines of, “That was good but maybe next time you should try this!” Whereas boys you can say, “What the heck Jimmy?!?” During this course I would love to learn how to communicate effectively between genders and to be aware of the social gender roles expectations that I may have not noticed before.

3 Responses to “You Can’t Say That To A Girl”

  1. Zachary Curtis Says:


    Would you say being a captain on the team has made your communication skills better than they were in the past? I imagine it is difficult trying to communicate with someone who may not speak your language very well.

  2. Kylie Dyer Says:


    I agree that women, for the most part, need to be treated differently from men. I’m motivated more by someone who shows that they care. When a coach makes me feel like he or she cares, I want to do the same in return by working hard. I value our relationship so much that I’m willing to do things like run harder or push further to demonstrate my affection. However, I know some girls who are motivated more when someone challenges their worth. They push harder in order to prove themselves worthy. In my opinion this is what motivates boys more. Its hard though because different people are motivated by different things such as the girls I know who are motivated by tactics that usually work on boys. I think this is a reflection of the variety of genders that people have. Just because I am a girl doesn’t mean I necessarily respond to coaching that is aimed towards what girls in general desire.

  3. Kellie Marsh Says:

    As an athlete I noticed the difference too. The guys were always pushed harder than we were. I was fortunate enough to have coaches that blurred the line a little and were not afraid to coach us and give us the harsh criticisms that we needed. The thing is that these were the coaches I remembered and respected more. They were also the ones that really helped me to become a batter player. I don’t think their should be a difference between coaching one gender or the other.