Gender & Communication Blog

 

The purpose of my blog is to talk about sexual assault and how the media shows it. The media has always been one of the most important aspects to opinions and facts within society and it has especially been that way recently.

When women speak out about sexual allegations and how they’re treated afterwards, it is a big deal. Both sides see it as a big dead and how the media portrays the victims is very worthwhile educating yourself on.

I have friends and family members that have been victims of sexual assault and rape. They now fear for their lives. Consequences are unlimited for the victims. These include mental health illnesses such as depression, anxiety, PTSD, flashbacks and more. Other negative side effects of sexual assault and rape include alcoholism, sex addiction, eating disorders, abortion, self-harm and more. (Rainn, 2018) But worst of all, suicide. No one deserves to go through that alone. People can feel like animals.

Victims are constantly facing consequences that they never deserve because of the stigma behind sexual assault.

You cannot blame the victim.

YOU CANNOT BLAME THE VICTIM.

YOU CANNOT BLAME THE VICTIM.

YOU CANNOT BLAME THE VICTIM.

YOU CANNOT BLAME THE VICTIM.

YOU CANNOT BLAME THE VICTIM.

YOU CANNOT BLAME THE VICTIM.

So what’s the point? I’m not just telling you what to do. It’s our society that places this blame on someone who was never in control. I remember the first time I saw #metoo on Twitter. I tweeted it out. I use Twitter as a place to post my funny thoughts and quirky pictures. I didn’t know what #metoo meant. I just saw 3 people I follow tweet it and I wanted to be a part of the crowd. I have never been a victim. I read into #metoo and deleted my tweet. Was I embarrassed? It might be my subconscious but I do want people to know their voices can be heard.

I was volunteering for a women’s group one time, I will keep the name private. But the event ends and we’re cleaning up. I was chatting with a woman in her 80s, the sweetest lady right? Let’s say her name is Gertrude, told me “all these women blame these men when they’re the ones showing off on screen, they let the men touch them like that!” WHAT? NO! That is exactly the OPPOSITE of how you should be thinking. She’s old, I get it, she was raised like that, she doesn’t know any better, basically brainwashed, but NO, that is scary that a man who is around her age and thinks like that, if not WORSE, runs our country!

Okay, rant over. This relates to one of my Gender & Communication class theories. The reason for this blog.  April is sexual assault month and our campus is not shy to speak out and help those in need. This blog relates to Standpoint Theory. It is an interpretive communication theory. It’s influenced by Symbolic Interaction Theory. No surprise there. Our society has gotten more open minded and understanding about things that have been set in stone for ages. It’s a great thing but it’s hard to explain. Standpoint is about how it sounds. It’s where one critically views the world. It refers to attitudes and values. I think that media portrays this in a way that certain news sources are specific and have their values and beliefs consistent. Whether it’s fake news is another story.

Social power is relevant and scary in our society. Sharon Crasnow, noted scholar explains here. Today is a special day. We can only move forward.

References:

Crasnow, S. Is Standpoint Theory a Resource for Feminist Epistemology? Hypatia. Vol. 24, No. 4 (Fall, 2009), pp. 189-192. Published by: Wiley on behalf of Hypatia, Inc. Stable URL: http://www.jstor.org/stable/20618188

Udry, J. Biological Limits of Gender Construction. American Sociological Review. Vol. 65, No. 3 (Jun., 2000), pp. 443-457 Published by: American Sociological Association DOI: 10.2307/2657466 Stable URL: http://www.jstor.org/stable/2657466

https://www.rainn.org/effects-sexual-violence

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Does family mean a lot to you? Or maybe it means nothing at all?

How about motherhood?

Being a mom is a big deal in today’s society. It really always has been and, at least for now, always will be. My mom means everything to me. She is a literal saint. St. Marilyn, as a lot of people like to call her. Just yesterday, my tire blew out and she drove 2 hours to get it towed and fixed because she knew I was busy all day and it was in a stranger’s driveway. She did this in spite of the fact that she just got off a 3 hour plane  ride and also an hour drive home from the airport.

Now I’m not a mom (unless pets count), so this article doesn’t exactly relate to me, 

but in “The New Momism” by Douglas and Michaels, they talk about how terrifying it is to be a mom in this day and age and how our kids could be killed at any second and how the media shows us every possible bad happening that are unrealistic but also not at the same time.

Among recent tragic events, school shootings have been higher than ever this year.

That’s my mom’s continuous paranoia. She hears sirens and freaks out. I don’t text her past midnight when I’m home on breaks and she freaks out. The “New Momism” is forcing moms to be constantly anxious and scared about their kids. Even when they’re near them, something could always, always, always go wrong, right? Do dads feel this way too, or is it just mothers?

 

So, who cares right? If you don’t have kids, you shouldn’t have to worry about people that are moms. People raise their kids how they want and that’s none of your business. Well, according toTatiana Morales from CBS News, being a mom is having multiple jobs. In terms of gendered norms stereotypes, moms are the caretakers. Moms birth the babies, clean the diapers, buy the clothes, cook the meals, do the dishes, fold the laundry, take the kids to school, teach them to walk, read, write, ride a bike, drive, etc. The list goes on and on. I am drawn to the topic of momism because I have such an angelic mom. She raised 4 kids as well as the 500 in the elementary school where she worked as a full time principal.

I’d like to quote Meghan Trainor and say “you might have a mom, she might be the bomb but ain’t nobody, got a mom like mine”.

The majority of our COMM 470 class are females and I believe we should care because we all have or have had moms in our lives and some of us are even thinking about taking that next step of adulthood soon. At college, we rarely see children and so babysitting and being around friends and neighbors kids is giving me baby fever. I guess I’m about at that age. It’s interesting to me because I never pictured myself being a mother but now that I think more and more about it, it might be an amazing life experience that I can’t live without.

Society stereotypes moms and puts them into a category. Why isn’t your mom picking you up from school, 4 year old Johnny? Oh I don’t know, because dad is? People can be concerned and question why mothers aren’t doing everything they possibly can to be MOMS! Roots can be placed back generation to generation and are mainly taken on because of fear, marketing, wishfulness and politics. (Morales, 2004)

 

This topic relates to the construct Becoming Gendered, The Family.  When we’re born, we don’t have a sense of self. We have chromosomes and crying, that’s about it. It’s our families and who we grow up with, how we’re raised that really sets us apart and makes us into who we are. We’re barely aware of being female or male until about 2. This sort of ties in Cognitive Development Theory.

We look up to role models for most of our young lives. I like to think that I have seen my mom as a role model, for as long as I can remember. She drops e v e r y t h i n g for her children. She loves us so much and it has (humbly) taught me to be a better human being and to be selfless. Mommy Myth, by Douglas and Michaels encourages moms to step out and step up. And that’s what my mom is doing. We see it all the time. Kids follow their parents footsteps.

Speaks for itself. 

I feel as though knowing that moms are the way that they are and their history and opinions will gradually help me understand gender norms. I see women as strong and independent when I think of moms handling a lot of stress and motherhood. I hope you take away a thought or two about how much your mom loves you. If your mom sucks or you hate her, I’m sorry you lasted this long.

 

What’s the difference between a woman and a man?

Are there distinct qualities or do we subconsciously give people these qualities based on how long their hair is, how big their breasts are, how skinny they are, what kind of job they have, and more?

“The difference between sex and gender often becomes apparent when we disobey gendered norms of behavior.”

My name is Maggie and I am going to use a personal experience to help you have a little better understanding of gender and sex.

First things first: my sex, born with, is female & my gender, chosen, is female.

I have always identified with more masculine characteristics, which was rarely a “problem” or “big deal” for me.

I rarely cried as a kid.

I would walk around in just my diaper until I was about 3.

I wore my hair up, when it wasn’t short, until high school.

I watched Spongebob and Ripley’s Believe it or not.

I played kickball and soccer at recess.

I wore baggy sweats and Nike sweatshirts in middle school.

I didn’t wear jeans until the 8th grade, right after I got my first boyfriend, who was shorter than me, by the way.

It was scary for me to wear anything other than a white polo and khakis to church every week, and my parents never made me wear a dress so I was comfortable.

In high school, I played field hockey and softball and only wore dresses on game days.

These things don’t mean I have men’s genitals, they don’t mean I am, or was, a boy, they don’t mean I’m not a girl. They mean I am me.

I was hardly ever embarrassed or ashamed of my masculine qualities but I remember one specific time when I felt pure stupidity. It was Halloween, 2006, and my best friend Kyla and I were going trick or treating in her neighborhood. I lived across town so I hardly knew anyone whose houses we went to but she did. I was Peter Pan and she was Tinkerbell. I wore my hair on top of my head and threw a hat on over it. I thought we looked so cute and did not even think twice that I was “disobeying” gender norms. I liked Peter Pan so I was going to be him. It’s crazy how normal that felt and how much no one judged me or made me change.

Until we got to one house. I had no clue what “doing gender” was until then.

We had trick or treated for about 45 minutes at this point and it was getting dark. We walked up to a house with long steps on their porch where the mom and daughter were sitting, waiting to give out candy.

Kyla and I walked up and the little girl gave Tinkerbell candy first, right before the mom said “okay give the little boy candy now”. I was SHOOK. Stunned. Surprised. Scared. Confused…

…until the little girl said “MOM that’s not a boy, that’s a girl!” and proceeded to give me candy as she corrected her mother and we left and that was that. I was embarrassed so I pretended I had to pee really bad and walked back home to Kyla’s. I felt pressed into this mold of what a little girl should be. And that was not to be dressed like a little boy. We counted out our Twizzlers and Tootsie Pops and my mom came and picked me up. We never spoke of it again until I was Lance Armstrong the next year.

So why is this an important story to tell? Who cares that a random suburban soccer mom thought I was a boy? I don’t remember what she looked like. Maybe she was scarred and now sees me in the grocery store, or the bar in town, just ashamed of her gender norms.

I think masculinity and femininity are important to examine because our culture is changing. We are our culture and if the little girl across from me at the library right now doesn’t want her nails painted and ears pierced, she shouldn’t have to just because her mom says so.

I chose to be a boy that October night, even though I didn’t have testosterone and that different chromosome, which is the only thing that makes me a boy. My gender was a boy, for that night, but the next day at school, I was a girl, and continued to be a girl.

Gender: Social role and personal identification

Sex: Anatomy, reproductive system

Drawing from my story, gendered communication is that this woman assumed I was a boy because I was wearing a boy’s outfit. The culture in that time didn’t respect those that identify with a different sex than born with.

I think going into the future, this gives kids the courage to dress however way they want. I do think a lot of our insecurities and negative self-views come from our parents, so teaching parents how to treat their kids with respect and let them dress how they want for Halloween. This story will hopefully help people understand that it’s okay to be who you are, masculine and feminine features and all.

I hope this gives you a little insight that I am no longer embarrassed by that incident and I still love Peter Pan. Thanks for reading!