As I look through my Facebook news feed yesterday and today one of the popular things I am seeing is the Meghan Trainor video.  Trainor has a song out now called “Dear Future Husband.”  Within this song she is telling her “future husband” how to treat her right just by following a few simple things, like making sure that he gives her flowers every anniversary.  The song goes on just listing things that he should follow so he can treat her like a lady. To me though she was a little demanding with all the things she wants just so that her future husband can treat her like a lady.  Yeah it would be nice for those things but all females want their future husbands to treat them right in their own way.  I also think that the way she is dressed and dancing shows a little to “sexy” for mass media.  I thought that some of the outfits that she had on were low cut and tight which could be shown to be sexy during the music video.  Also with this video it can be a little sexist because you have a woman her asking things to be treated right by her future husband but what about the men?  They are also need to be treated right by his wife, so where is his video?


9 thoughts on “#DearFutureHusband

  1. I really enjoyed your post! I agree with everything you wrote. One thing that caught my attention was that in the video, Trainor is doing stereotypical “wife” duties, but she can’t successfully be the perfect wife. For example, she can’t cook. I found it very interesting how Trainor was allowed to have a stereotypical list for her future husband, but she didn’t have to fulfill her stereotypical role as a wife. Like you said, they both need to be treated right in their own way.

  2. I really enjoyed reading your blog post because a lot of what you wrote are many thinks I thought about when I saw this song as well. One thing I found really interesting is how willing she was to basically reinforce so many gender stereotypes during the music video as all she does in the music video is cook, clean, and continue to be the girl that needs a guy to be relevant. This kind of puts a bit of a step back on any type of woman movement because she’s making it seem as if the only way a woman can do something with her life is if she has a husband. I also really didn’t like the fact that she continuously was telling her “future husband” how much he has to buy her things such as flowers and rings. This upsets me because it’s saying the only way to a woman’s heart is by buying her things. Also, I agree 100 percent with you Catricia why is it the guy’s responsibility to make sure everything is right, why isn’t she doing anything to help out the relationship and make sure he’s happy as well.

  3. “Yeah it would be nice for those things but all females want their future husbands to treat them right in their own way. ” I really like this sentence you wrote. It really does irritate me when some girls fall into this illusion that if a man isn’t buying you flowers/chocolate he isn’t treating you right. That’s like saying if your girlfriend isn’t making you sandwiches on demand ‘she isn’t the one’. I hate the way media narrows the ‘dating playbook’ for guys. Great post!

  4. Like most other responders on this post I respectfully disagree with some of your points. Listening to the lyrics of the song and the video I think the artist is very tame in talking about the expectations of her future husband. It is so unlike our gender to stand up and have a list of expectations that we give to our spouse (although we might have them in secret it is rare they are ever expressed). Our gender is taught that everything we are to do as wives is to make our husbands happy. I love the line in which she sings “You’ve got that 9 to 5, well baby so do I. So don’t expect me to be home baking apple pies.” I think that she is really attempting to break the gender expectation of the stay at home wife that has been imposed on women for decades. I think that in a world where Usher is allowed to tell women he wants a “lady in the streets but a freak in the bed” a woman should be able to make a list of nice things she expects her husband to do for her.

  5. I completely agree that women should be treated in that way but I feel it should be expected in this day and age. As the media portrays this lavish lifestyle with love stories and how everything is supposed to be taken literally. While I agree that some of the things Trainor said in this video were totally stereotypical. She is demonstrating how she perceives her femininity with the fact she has a “type” of future husband, giving a laundry list of things that he should do for her. While I believe society is catching up, men still are giving the worse situations in media as Eminem showcased in his hit song, Love The Way You Lie, which in my opinion would be the contrast to this song as pressure on the male to live up to a certain expectation. Eminem telling of an extreme case of course but where there are expectations in the media as far as gender norms go, there should be reality. The reality that every marriage will live up to every expectation that is placed by both man and women is outdated. We live with more technology than ever, everything will subtly catch up as far as expectations go. By her putting out this single, it proves how media pressures better relationships by the popularity of certain ideas. The outfits she wore characterize her confidence like her other single, “All About The Bass”, she uses her image as an unconventional star to help further her music career in this new song.

  6. Dear Catricia,
    I really enjoyed learning how you perceived the music video and how you interpreted the meaning of the song because my interpretation was completely different! I love this song but rather than the girl being portrayed expecting a lot, I actually felt that her expectations for a future husband (although the tasks may have been seemingly high maintenance) were so sad! I didn’t think “What about what the husband wants?” but I did start thinking about the things I would look for in a future husband- a loyal, caring and kind man would far outweigh the little things someone might do in a relationship. I would hope that it would take a lot more than flowers and someone always agreeing with me for a man to win me over! I think Meghan Trainer is almost making fun of the way society identifies women with lines like “after ever fight just apologize..even if I was wrong, you know I’m never wrong, why disagree?” The relationship being described throughout the song is very shallow in a way that it pokes fun at gender norms, which is why I perceived the song to be meant that way. Good job and I really liked your topic!

  7. Although I do agree with some of the things that you said in this post, I also disagree too. I don’t necessarily think it is wrong for women to have expectations for their husbands. This doesn’t mean that there are no expectations that men have for their wives, but it is more “typical” for a man to go out of his way to impress a woman. And as for the outfit she is wearing, it may be a little sexual. But Meghan Trainor is actually a good female role model because she doesn’t portray the typical “model” body.

    • This video appeared on my news feed for the first time this morning on facebook along with an article “Meghan Trainor’s ‘Dear Future Husband’ is the Sexist Thing You’ll See Today”. Personally I thought the article was quite critical of the artist. Though it is not the best music, this is the second time she has been risky with her lyrical content. I have to give Trainor props because she is speaking on behalf of herself. Some women thoroughly enjoy the “conservative” lifestyle. And toward the end Trainor does mention what she expects from her husband and admits she cannot cook. I believe she is breaking the binary gender expectations in some ways but also enforcing gender stereotypes in others. Who knows, she may even be mocking the relationship in general. I personally did not find her song sexist but can understand if some interpreted it differently.


  8. I like your post! Although the song is catchy with a cute video, I agree that she may have seemed a little demanding. The video portrayed the typical “American dream.” The video described how she would get groceries, bake pies, and clean while her future husband was off at work. In return for being a domesticated wife, she wants her husband to treat her like a lady and do things like buy her flowers every anniversary. The character she is portraying in her video fulfills the idea of growing up feminine that we have discussed in class. Growing up feminine discusses the themes that are present in being a woman. This idea says that although women in America in the twenty-first century has more rights than ever, there are still expectations women are held to. The themes consist of appearance still counts, be sensitive and caring, exposure to negative treatment of others, and to be superwoman. This video reiterates the stigma that women should be domesticated while their husbands go off and work. Though it is a catchy song, mass media needs be careful of the messages they are broadcasting to the public.

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