Monthly Archives: June 2013

Critical Info…

“You need to clean this aisle better.” “You need to serve people faster.” “You goof off with your co-workers too much.” These are all things I’ve heard from a boss at work so if you’re like me and have had or do have a job you can relate to how a boss has to keep their staff on task. The problem is, these comments can be damaging to the self esteem of workers if taken the wrong way.

Have you ever been told you were lazy or selfish or even that your assignment wasn’t good enough to get the grade you wanted? Of course you have, everyone has. Criticism comes from all angles and all people. I have been criticized plenty of times in my life and it is something that is more then likely to happen every day. A criticism can be a small criticism such as “you’re a messy person” or they could be larger criticisms from a boss like “your annual report was terrible, you have no focus and your writing is poor and lacks detail.”

Criticism can bring out the best in us

Criticism must be handled constructively:

When developing good personal relationships and indulging in them there are a lot of aspects that play a big part. Giving and accepting criticism, along with self-disclosure, commitment, trust, and relational dialectics is a small factor that adds to the many needed when satisfying good personal relationships.

There is a great article I found that further discusses the example of criticism used in the workplace from a bosses perspective. The article is by U.S. News and in the article it talks about the best ways to take any criticism in a work related environment. The writer Alison Green makes a few valid points within her article, those points being:

  • Really listen.
  • Don’t brush it off.
  • Don’t be defensive.
  • If you disagree, say it. But do it in the right tone.

You’ve got to have some give and take:

Criticism is a two way street, you have to not only be able to receive criticism but you also have to be able to give out well constructed criticism too. I came across another article, this time from that talks about giving out constructive criticism and the ways that are best to do so. The writer Ross Bonander suggests ways he feels are best, in order to give good constructive criticism (of which I have chosen a few):

  • Get your facts straight. Your criticisms are only as credible as their source.
  • Focus on what can be done, not what has been done. Refer to areas for improvement don’t dwell on inadequacies.
  • Empathize. Consider empathy, we’ve all been there before, consider the persons feelings

So.. we should all be critical?

In a way, yes. While criticism is great in order to sustain personal relationships it is important to think about the situation when giving and receiving it. Being able to criticize effectively is a skill that shouldn’t be over-looked if you can appropriately give out constructive criticism people are more likely to thank you rather then resent you and being able to listen and hear other peoples criticisms can give us a view to improving ourselves on something we may have never even thought about.

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Social Media and the Self.

As people, we need to grow. We develop and we feel the need to achieve a sense of self-actualization. This normally comes through interactions with others. We gain a sense of who we are through how we naturally act/react or how we choose to act/react within interactions with other people BUT social media is beginning to change how people achieve self actualization, if they even do.

Self actualization is being tampered with and a lot of it is happening through social media. The idea of self actualization is for us to reach the best us. Social media allows us to be seen at our best, or at least we think it is. We tend to change our personality or our appearance for an audience. This is what social media encourages. After all, if you’re putting yourself out to the world you want to be seen as a normal person that fits in with the norms. But social media can also have a big part to play in how we treat people as discussed in this article from the NY Daily News.

Is social media changing how we treat people? In the linked article from the NY Daily news it is discussed that treatment of people over social media is starting to ruin relationships in real life. This is another example of how through trying to achieve self actualization people begin to treat others incorrectly over social media. Trying to be cool and more important then others through social media is having affects on face to face relations, so the question is..

Is that really who WE are? Is that really our own identity, do we really reach self actualization in an honest manner, or are we playing up to what the people around us would consider the best version of us via social media, then shying away in person or not reflecting an online persona?

Where do you fit in?
(click to link to original image)

In the book Interpersonal Communication: Everyday Encounters author Julia Wood defines a persons self actualization as our human need to fully develop our unique talents, capacities, and potentialities. With social media and video gaming starting to become such a big part of our lives it is becoming more and more difficult to really achieve some of these talents.

A great example of how it is becoming harder to fully achieve some of these talents is the situation of public communication. One article discusses in depth how college students are being affected by the ability to use social media as a means of communication, which is making the students less willing to participate in class when they are infront of other people. Then, as shameful as it is to admit, there is the text talk and abbreviations that begin to creep in to the students school work.

Overall, it is becoming more and more apparent that social media is beginning to affect the real life social aspect of our lives. From the children who are playing online video games, to the teenagers who are still trying to find out who they really are, all the way to college students who are becoming so sheltered and inadequately prepared for face-to-face communication that they are starting to negatively affect their own learning.

The debate is huge, is social media really causing a problem amongst all generations of our society or is it simply still helping us to broaden our horizons and interests. Do we accept how it is shaping our lives or do we change our attitudes towards it to truly reach the self actualization that Maslow highlights in his Hierarchy of Needs.

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An Introduction To Me..

Representing Longwood Men’s Soccer.

Hello all!
My name is Daena Bodie, after this summer I will be going in to my Junior year as a Communications Studies major with a concentration in Public Relations and Organizationa Communication.

I was born in the Bahamas but lived my teenage years in England. I am a member of the Longwood Men’s Soccer team and have played Soccer my whole life and once represented the Nike Elite Academy for Soccer.
My academic interests are definitely all to do with my Communications classes, every one of them has been fun and interesting. My main professional interest is definitely Soccer first and foremost but I have a huge interest in my Comm Studies concentration and the job opportunities that it can present to me.

My expertise and experiences within Communication Studies classes includes a group blog called Tech Dudes and a basic personal website that offers some brief information on myself and some recent pieces of work.
There are more experiences for me outside of the classroom, on the soccer field. I am seen as a leader within my team and I play a role as an effective communicator amongst the other players. This is because I am able to relate to most people and target what needs to be done quickly and can relay that message in order to get the job done. 

I’ve experienced a lot of Interpersonal Communication within my time at Longwood. It applies to me in the classroom and on the field. I took a Communication Theory class and there was a lot of group work, which clearly involved a lot of discussion and this meant that it was important to be able to interact effectively with others. Working on group projects or even in a one on one situation has taught me that it’s important to think about how you and the other person or people communicate your ideas in order to be as effective as possible.
Interpersonal Communication is also important to me within soccer because as a team we have to be able to work well with each other and in order to get the best out of each other we need to be able to communicate well and understand what works well for each individual person.
After taking this class I hope to broaden my knowledge on interpersonal relationships and make myself a better communicator of my thoughts and ideas to others. To help me in general interactions, professional interactions and also interactions within soccer.


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